The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
