pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
