This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
handjob tips. give me some.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
