I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
