babies were throwing up all over the place
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
