Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
