There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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