Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
