xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
