Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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