when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
