You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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