I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
