ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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