A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
