Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
