You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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