Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

ugh. my soul tastes like vodka

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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(941): View more from Florida

Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

(813): View more from Florida

Crosswalk actually

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...

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(765): View more from Indiana

You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house

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