And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
