I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
