am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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