Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
