idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
