If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
