i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
