im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
