if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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