One girl and one boy is just not enough.
someone owes me an orgasm
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
