Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
