why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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