that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
