He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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