FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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