What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
