where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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