I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
