she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
