Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My penis needs a shock collar
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
