Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize