I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
