My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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