Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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