No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
