I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
