my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
God, I missed his penis.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
