This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
