she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
