You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
