I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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