I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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