Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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