Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize