dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
