I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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