im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i believe in u and ur pee
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
