I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize