what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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