sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize