I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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