I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
