Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize