quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
