Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
