super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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