I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
