38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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