You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
