So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
